The Ultimate Women’s Party of the Year Is The Ultimate Let Down
The One and I trooped over to Teatrino in Greenhills last Friday for the 3rd Dimension 10th Year Anniversary Reunion Party. After all the hype, the party turned out to be a dud.
First of all, the posters and invites said that the party starts at 9 p.m. Yeah right! Lesbians coming out early at night? Not a chance. People started coming in at around 11 p.m. The show? It started about an hour after.
Unlike the usual exclusive party where people mill and mingle and dance, the 3rd D party set up a pseudo talk show with Joed Serrano doing an Ellen act. Slightly amusing but the act got old soon after dancing a la Ellen — complete with the table dance and all. We wondered who the guests would be as there was no announcement of any sort, not even a teaser. But when Aiza Seguerra walked in with her guitar, our interest was somehow piqued.
Only to be disappointed again. The first guest was GlutaMax endorser, Jinky Oda. I have nothing against her, it’s just that the first guest should be someone interesting enough to catch the audience attention and hold their attention for the next few minutes. Her introduction was a video montage of her photos to the tune of Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey’s “Believe.” She entered the stage unceremoniously and sang a lame rendition of “Dance with Me” after which Joed interviewed her about (drumroll please) being endorser of GlutaMax.
Of course the night wouldn’t be complete without the Pinay lesbian poster girl, Aiza Seguerra. She sang one song, exchanged pleasantries with Joed, and in less than a few minutes, she was off the stage.
Then came the supposed piece de resistance: bodyshots with an FHM model. I don’t know why the organizers think this will be enticing to watch, but heck, I guess it is entertaining to a certain extent. I always find drunk women entertaining in a sadistic way. Nothing can elicit as much varied reaction as a drunk making a fool of herself.
Of course no 3rd Dimension event will be complete without crass humor and scantily-clad women gyrating on stage. Even the butchest of butches will find herself blushing when faced with these stripper-dancers. It wouldn’t be fair, however, to not mention their choreography. It may not be synchronized and may even show an obvious lack of preparation and hours of rehearsal, but hey, any girl dressed in the shortest of shorts with high heels and a tight-fitting bra top must be given an A for effort.
Imagine shelling out your hard-earned pesos (Php 500 to be exact) for these. I was torn between pulling my hair out or slashing my wrists for having to endure this, but I remembered that I didn’t exactly pay for my entrance fee. I had to stop myself from inflicting pain on myself (and on others) and instead be the gracious guest that I should be.
The only saving grace of the event is that you get to reminisce with old friends and meet new friends. If you are so inclined, you can also consider the crowd a source of fashion inspiration. Better yet, think of it as a source of socioantropologcial research.
So thank God for the company and the booze. If you missed the so-called ultimate women’s party of the year, don’t worry. You didn’t miss anything at all.
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